Humans are just crazy for goodness or lover of goodness. He preferred goodness and kindness for entire life. He loves goodness, expect goodness from others, he wants goodness from time to time and gets sad when reward of goodness is not achieved. That is why the question arises what this goodness is?
Goodness is generally expected in human relationships, whether the relationship is family or professional. The expectation of goodness in a relationship is nothing but the moral expectation of one human being towards another human being. Role of goodness is more crucial among human beings compare to other creatures. We never expect anything good from other creatures. Never heard of a man expecting a mosquito not to bite him or expecting a violent animal not to attack him while passing through the forest. Thus the expectation of goodness is placed on the human being and especially on the person engaged in social relations.
Now let us first understand what is goodness and why is it needed? First of all, it is important to understand that goodness is nothing more than a big illusion. Because goodness means that the person connected with you in any relationship is in your words, behaves as you wish, never annoys you under any circumstances, as if unknowingly does not cause you pain, constantly helps you, supports you, fulfil your needs from time to time. Helping, loving, smiling at your ever-changing desire to be helpful without any complaints or expectations and making your life a paradise makes us all feel good. Now tell me don’t you feel goodness have a direct relationship with the selfishness of the person. We all have the experience that when we say this person is good or that person is good it means that the person has somehow been useful to us somewhere or he has helped us in our financial trouble or served in our illness or he may have uttered two or three words that make us feel happy, that may make us feel at peace for a while in life, or that for a moment we may feel that we also have someone own in this world. On the contrary, we are saddened when anything happens opposite to these. When someone makes our life a little difficult or conflicting, robs our wealth, is not useful in times of need, does not love as you expect, treats our relatives inappropriately (such as wrong treatment to in-laws) The person doesn’t look good to us.
In short, we do not consider a good person to be someone who is causing us unhappiness in life, causing unrest in our life, or causing troubles and problems. Don’t you think that our belief in a person (good or bad) is subject to our selfishness or rage? The person who is useful to us, responsible for our progress, through which our life has become a little better, naturally like by us, we consider him a good person. Also there is no guarantee that a person who is good today for us will be good tomorrow or forever because a useful person today may not be useful tomorrow or a person who loves today may not love tomorrow (as you expect) If a person cannot help tomorrow, he will immediately disappear from our sight. We forget all his old good deeds. Also this person has changed, it was my own mistake that I misunderstood him and we blame the person and the relationship broken for the rest of our lives. Another thing to understand is that if goodness is absolute, then the good person in eyes of one must be good in eyes of everyone. But we all have the experience that for many, the person who is excellent is often not good for one, which literally means that the concept of goodness is relative, not absolute. Thus, good or bad, merit or inadequacy, excellence or inferiority is nothing more than a personal illusion.
Selfishness and hatred make one person good and another bad or unworthy. Even the selfless, formless, gracious God does not always look good to us. As long as everything in life goes according to our wishes and life is full of happiness, we feel God is gracious, His justice seems right, we like its creature. But if the opposite happens, which may not be acceptable to us, then the same gracious God looks like ruthless, cruel and brutal. Goodness is actually a very big illusion, which we ourselves have created through selfishness and hatred. That is why the scriptures advise to be free from selfishness and to give up hatred as well as cultivate witnessing so that the existence of God can be seen as such. Because it is almost impossible to get rid of the conflict between good and evil without witnessing or giving up personal liking and disliking. There is nothing good or bad in this world, it is just existence. In fact, we make the mistake of finding good or bad in every matter.
When infatuation or attachment is not born to a very kind person who has a lot of love and affection for you as well as when you do not feel resentment or disgust towards the person who has created misery in your life means you are free from the illusory magic of good and bad. There is nothing in life as cruel as liking and disliking but unfortunately our whole life is based on likes and dislikes. It is not possible to attain the truth without defeating it. We always add the element of good or bad to the fact, actually truth only exists that is never good or bad. In fact there is nothing good or bad in existence.
Sometimes knowingly or unknowingly we are even expecting good behavior from animals and birds also. If an animal does not bite or harm us against its nature, then we start liking even violent animal. We like pet dogs if it loves us but we start hating or disliking if it bites and gets rabies. We never hesitate to throw away that pet dog anywhere to whom we loved once because it is no longer now useful to us. Ever thought that if a mosquito doesn’t bite us, it will never be a problem for us, but if it bites, it will become an enemy to us. But the bite is its nature, it is very natural as it is its food on which its entire existence depend. How can one expect someone to act against one’s nature and even if it is kept, can it be possible to fulfil? The same logic applies to human relationships. Everyone’s nature is different. If there is a virtuousness available in the society, there is demonic instinct also there and one has to understand the fact. God has also allowed everyone to behave according to his nature, so who are we to disturb the creation of God?
It is the moral right of every person to stay away from a person or thing that does not suit our nature. God has basically given everyone the freedom and ability to defend themselves from danger or harm. But we do not like to be away from people of the opposite nature to us due to some selfish interest and also expect that person to obey us and live in a way that suits us. Which is never possible. In short, there is nothing more dangerous in life than likes and dislikes. Moreover, good or bad, right or wrong is just our illusion. Illusion can never give true happiness because how can one who has no existence cause happiness?
Moreover, it is not that goodness is not required in the society, whether it is even selfish, society desperately needs many good qualities like love, kindness, charity, sympathy, compassion, humility. Because it is through that only sweetness is maintained in human relations and comfort in society. The world can survived only through goodness. But the karma, beliefs, hereditary factors of many births are also responsible behind a person’s temperament, goodness, nature and culture. That is why it is not appropriate to take personal pride in goodness. Actually there is no such thing as personal pride. God’s will is also there in our dealings with others, whether good or bad. There is also a hint of God in the way we help someone. We are just an excuse or object or instrument of god’s hands. Whether we love someone or hate is also due to pre-existing karma. So it is not advisable to emphasize anything right or wrong. Also, to give credit to one’s own self or to one’s own deeds is nothing more than an illusion. Because behind it, many causes of birth, desires, lust are responsible. Which we do not know so that ignorantly we trapped in the illusory net of our own goodness.
So from today, let’s stop being attracted or impressed by someone considering him good and stop criticizing or hating someone by considering him wrong. Yes of-course, stay away from those with whom you do not feel comfortable. But don’t let any kind of evil arise.
That is the true herb of living life. That is the true art of living. Perhaps to learn that thing only God has sent us in the world to live between social relationships, let’s make this life meaningful.
Shilpa shah, director in-charge, HKBBA College