- “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?”
- “I can’t believe it’s April Fool’s Day again. It feels like it was just yesterday when I pranked you.”
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving my energy for something more important.”
- “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
- “I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.”
- “I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room.”
- “I don’t always tell dad jokes, but when I do, he laughs.”
- “I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.”
- “I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”
- “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
